


Songs to Learn and Sing

by TheLostViking



Category: VIXX
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance, Smut, Vague storyline, alternative universe, side pairing NBin and Luck, super fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 23:18:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14681537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLostViking/pseuds/TheLostViking
Summary: Lee Jaehwan and Kim Wonshik consider themselves soulmates. Without the other there is nothing.This is a collection of short stories based on their life together, in no particular order. Massive amounts of romantic fluff and minor amounts of smut.(this is a re-post of the same story first uploaded on AFF. The chapter order has been altered here, now posted in the order each chapter was written)





	1. Again

A song that made him shiver. Made him feel like he would burst if he didn’t sing along. It would reach into his bones and shake him to the core. Sometimes he would cry, other times just sit quietly and listen – too immersed to register anything else.

“Play it again.” He would demand, and he was never denied. Wonshik could never deny him anything; always so weak to his pleas, wishes and demands. He just wanted to hear Jaehwan sing again. He would close his eyes to the sound of his voice and Jaehwan would watch him secretly as he sang the lyrics he loved – and his heart would swell.

“Again.”

The song would come once again with no sign of protest or hesitation, and he would sing it one last time, pouring his heart and soul in it as he sang along – Wonshik lying beside him on the bed, arms covered in goosebumps and hand relaxing inside of his. He felt his warmth and his pulse beat within his fingers. He could see the hairs rising to the sounds of his voice – and it was thrilling. Closing his eyes as he reached that high note, Wonshik’s hand clutching his in response.

The song would end again. Wonshik’s eyes would open and look at him with such pride and adoration that Jaehwan could barely look back. Without words they would pour their hearts at each other for minutes, until Jaehwan gave up and looked away. Too shy to bear it, never as strong as Wonshik. It never failed to make Wonshik chuckle that deep and breathy way he always did – the one that made Jaehwan’s entire being tingle a little.

Arms would envelop him and they would fall into each other with smiles on their faces and love needlessly spoken in their hearts.


	2. Comfort

“What are you doing?” Jaehwan asked when Wonshik suddenly lifted his head from where it had been resting on his chest for a very long time. His entire body on top of Jaehwan; he was positively crushing him, but he didn’t really mind. He liked having his weight holding him in place and the warmth from him was a comfort.

“I wanted to look at your face.”

Jaehwan grimazed. “I can’t possibly look any appealing from that angle. Lay down.” He tried pressing Wonshik’s head back down onto his chest but he wouldn’t budge.

“You look good from any angle though.” Wonshik said sheepily with that dreamy smile of his, his sleepy eyes adding to the effect. Jaehwan would cringe if he wasn’t so used to it.

“Liar.” He squints at Wonshik, but Wonshik only smiles bigger as he shakes his head, his body bouncing on top of Jaehwan from a soundless chuckle deep within his lungs. He groans at the pressure the motion puts on his chest and ribs.

“Please get off me, I can’t breathe.” He gasped over-dramatically. Wonshik’s brows fly up immediately and he rolled off to lie by his side instead. Hand found his right away; warm and comforting.

Always so assuring. Jaehwan smiled to himself, sighed and closed his eyes to keep resting.

“I love you.” He heard Wonshik mumble quietly beside him, he could almost see his shy face through the voice only, and his hand clenched around Jaehwan’s for a second. Jaehwan broke in to big smile, almost laughing because his body was bubbly. It never got old it seemed; hearing those words.

He turned to his side and kissed Wonshik’s shoulder.

“Me too.”


	3. Let Love In

On summer nights Wonshik would often come with Jaehwan on his late night walks around the area they lived in. It’s a crowded area, but close to it a big park with a manmade lake and few people ever entered there after midnight. Jaehwan always somehow ended up there in the end of his walks, but when Wonshik came with him Wonshik would drag him straight there.

It was an especially warm night this one, and not even the city lights able to make the stars disappear on the sky as they illuminated the many clouds wandering the skies in the slight, warm breeze. Their t-shirts clung to their backs, their palms sweaty as they held hands while they walked and the breeze feeling refreshing on their sweaty necks.

They lay down on a wooden table, the big ones where retired men gather every day and chat and play games as they talk about their youths as they criticize the current. But after midnight these tables were empty and Wonshik lead Jaehwan right to one and coaxed him to lie down with him and watch the sky in silence, side by side, hand in hand, soft music playing from Wonshik’s phone resting on his stomach.

"Have you ever noticed that if you look up at the sky like this, you can actually see the curve of the earth and how the clouds are moving?" Wonshik asked after a long, comfortable silence between them. "It's almost like I can feel the earth rotating when I see them move like that."

Jaehwan only hummed in answer, observing what Wonshik pointed out with new eyes. He could indeed see a slight curve. It made the world look so much smaller to him. He clenched Wonshik’s hand to show he understood. The music changed to a soothing acoustic melody by some western singer Jaehwan did not know, but he could recall hearing Wonshik play the song in their livingroom that morning as well. It’s nice, warming, and made him think of all the things he loved about the other; his gentleness, his protectiveness, his eternal love for him.

"This is it." Wonshik said then.

"What?" Jaehwan murmured.

"This is our song. Every time we hear it we will remember this moment."

"That's so cheesy." Jaehwan chuckles, but his stomach stirred with emotion.

"I know you like it, no matter what you say." Wonshik insisted

"What's so special about this moment?" Jaehwan asked and turned his head to look at Wonshik, but his eyes were trained on the stars.

"It's beautiful." He said quietly after a pause, voice uncharacteristically soft. 

"The sky?"

"Yes, but no; I mean the feeling. This moment is so simple, but I don't think I've ever felt more... comfortable. Light. Free." Wonshik answered, never looking away from the stars, but Jaehwan could see the joy in his eyes. He looked absolutely beautiful; so full of hope and joy – and he never failed to share it all with him. He was so damn lucky to have him.

Jaehwan stared at him for a long moment, eyes trembling with feeling. He was touched. Wonshik silently turned to look at him with shiny eyes and they stared at each other for a long while, the song eventually changing to a different one.

"I love you." Wonshik whispered.

"I know." Jaehwan moved closer, his hand reaching out to caress the other's face. "I love you too." He said tenderly, leaning in for a sweet kiss.


	4. Home

Their bedroom felt pleasantly cold as they lay on top of their sheets in sweatpants and t-shirts, despite the blaring heat outside their airconditioned room. Changed out of sweaty clothes and newly showered the both of them, they fell onto their bed with relieved sighs – ready to sleep forever.

There was no alarm that would be waking them the next day.

Jaehwan was tired, but distracted by his busy mind he found himself staring at the roof of their room – sleep refusing to embrace him. His thoughts seemed to want his attention this night. He stared for a long time, but the noise within him only became louder.

He sighed; frustrated.

“Do you every just want to leave here?” He ended up murmuring into the darkness. He was expecting Wonshik to already be long gone and asleep already, but a sleepy grunt from beside him proved him wrong. Wonshik was hugging the pillow with his face away from Jaehwan, and turned his head with a grunt to look at him.

“Do you?” He asked with a voice gruff from sleep and tiredness. Jaehwan always envied how easily he was able to fall asleep.

“Sometimes I wonder if there’s somewhere better.” He answered thoughtfully, voice so soft it’s almost a whisper – but easy to hear in the quiet of the room.

“If you want to go somewhere, I’ll go with you.” Wonshik sounded so sleepy when he said it, and honestly – for all Jaehwan could know – he might be half asleep already. He turns his head to look at Wonshik and his eyes are closed and breathing quiet and even.

Moving his arm and body with great effort, Jaehwan turned to lie on his side and face the younger. His hand found Wonshik’s face and caressed it so softly and carefully he could manage, earning a low hum. He moved Wonshik’s hair out of his face and opened a single eye to look at Jaehwan.

“This is your home, though…” Jaehwan whispered to him.

Wonshik lifted his head to nuzzle his chin and mouth into the older’s soft hand, and gave him the smallest kiss in his palm.

“No.” He kissed again and Jaehwan’s palm tingled at the sensation of Wonshik’s light breathing. “You are.”

Jaehwan’s insides melted and he almost groaned as a tearful lump developed in his abdomen, threatening to make his eyes well with tears, and he leans in to kiss the side of his mouth tenderly. Wonshik hummed in appreciation; finally taking the initiative to turn his body around to lie on his back, despite his exhausted and heavy body. Then strong hands gripped onto Jaehwan and he’s dragged over to lie on Wonshik’s stomach.

He settled himself on top of the other, arms and chin resting on his chest – rising and falling in time with his breathing. Arms hugged around him casually, and he feels his warmth spread around him pleasantly. Wonshik settled as well; eyes closing and giving a final, content sigh.

“You’re such a sap.” Jaehwan murmured as he studied his peaceful face. His eyes opened slowly and looked down at him with a very unimpressed look. He knew he was no better, he could see him thinking.

“No comment.” He said.

It made Jaehwan snort, his entire body moving from the action and making Wonshik groan quietly – but the arms around Jaehwan tightened their grip anyway.

Feeling warm, tired and comfortable; Jaehwan sighed and let his mind drift away as his breathing slowly softened and the room became less and less present – the sound of Wonshik’s soft breathing a comforting lullaby.


	5. Even the bad

_When you were asleep_  
And I was out walking  
The voices started to speak  
And they wouldn't stop talking

  * _Coming up Roses – Keira Knightley_



Wonshik was almost gone and asleep when he heard the soft click of their bedroom door opening and closing slowly and carefully. A little gone from reality, he blinked into the darkness and tried to remember if he had slept or not. What time was it?

Really late.

The bed dipped behind him as Jaehwan crawled under the covers and curled up against his back. Cold and shaky fingers made their way around his side and a shiver traveled across his body at the sensation. He can sense the mood from the other right away, the way his fingers weakly grabbed at his t-shirt – wanting to hold him desperately but not to wake him up.

But he was already awake.

“What’s wrong?” He murmured into the dark, resisting the urge to turn around and look at his face. He knew he didn’t want to be seen, so he would stay still and wait for him to turn him himself.

“Nothing.” Jaehwan lied, and Wonshik sighed.

“Did you have a nice walk?” He asked. Jaehwan often had trouble sleeping. Wonshik would often wake up to find the bed empty in the middle of night, Jaehwan out walking – hunting for sleep.

But sometimes it was not sleep he caught and brought home to their bed.

Jaehwan did not answer, but he came closer to him now that he didn’t have to worry about waking him. His entire body was cold, but Wonshik didn’t mind and let him embrace him – arms holding around his middle with an iron grip as if he would slip away if he didn’t hold on with all his strength.

He wanted to ask what’s wrong again, but he had learned the hard way that he had to wait.

So he waited while stroking the other’s hand resting on his stomach and willed his body heat to transfer over and warm him.

“I’m worried.” A weak voice said into his back, barely audible. Once again he had to keep himself from turning around, instead letting his hand grip the other’s hand in comfort.

“About what?”

“Everything.”

He felt the other curl himself up even more, forehead pressing into Wonshik’s back and the warm breath from a heavy sigh warming his shirt. He frowned, wishing that sometimes Jaehwan’s mind would leave him alone.

“Are we going to be okay?” He said after a long silence, with a voice so careful it’s a wonder it doesn’t break mid-sentence.

Wonshik’s resolve broke apart at how Jaehwan’s voice sounded, turning around to face the other – who in turn tried to hide his face into the pillow – and Wonshik’s hand finds his chin and he’s forced to look at him with his wet eyes.

He was relieved to see Jaehwan had not shed any tears. Not yet at least, he was so close.

Looking him deep in the eyes with resolve he only found when around the other; he assured him.

“We’re okay.” He paused for effect, and the look in Jaehwan’s eyes almost broke his heart. “We will always be okay, so try to trust me and don’t worry.” He leaned in to rest his forehead on Jaehwan’s and Jaehwan closed his eyes. A tear fell as his eyes closed.

“Okay?” He whispered in the end, willing it to reach and grab hold. A careful nod from the other and Wonshik pulled him into a tight hug, cradling his head to his chest protectively.

If only he had the power to protect him from the mind.

“Sorry I woke you up.” Jaehwan murmured into his chest and Wonshik’s hand could no longer resist the need to stroke his head. Careful strokes over his soft hair felt just as comforting for him as the older. Jaehwan relaxed into him with a hum.

“I was already awake.” He said, but he knew he still felt bad. “Besides, I love it when you tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Even the bad?”

“Even the bad.”


	6. The Sound of His Voice

There was just something about lying on the couch in the evenings after hours of hard work that held a certain charm for Wonshik. His body tired and aching for rest with Jaehwan lying on top of him like a sleeping animal. They would stay like that for a long time, sometimes the entire evening until they crawled to bed with heavy bodies and minds, dinner consumed and heads begging for some rest in form of a nap or a movie.

The TV was on silent; a movie they had watched three times so far. They had not bothered to take the DVD out of the player, and every time they realized they were already settled. So they turned off the sounds and let their minds drift as they watched the storyline go in silence. Wonshik held his head up with his arm resting on the armrest and Jaehwan looking from where his head lay on his chest, his upper body slowly rising and falling from Wonshik’s slow breathing.

Wonshik could feel himself drift away.

“I learned a new song today.” Jaehwan said without looking away from the screen. Wonshik was brought back with what felt like a tug in his brain; a strange sensation.

“Yeah?” His voice was gruff and sleepy and he cleared his throat.

“The one you said you really like the other day.” Jaehwan sat up to kneel between his legs and look at him. He looked happy. It made Wonshik feel warm.

He tried to remember which song. It must have been days since he mentioned it.

“You remembered that?”

“Of course.” Jaehwan said, looking at him as if that was the most natural thing in the world. He felt so touched, and he knew it was visible how his eyes softened because Jaehwan’s face slowly blushed red.

“Thank you.”

Jaehwan frowned then, a hand hitting Wonshik’s knee – making his body jump on reflex and eyes widen in surprise.

“Don’t thank me, this is supposed to be my thanks to you – you idiot.” Jaehwan said, but his slight smile gave him away. Wonshik frowned, not really knowing what he was being thanked for.

“What if I want to thank you anyway?” He challenged with a playful smirk, and Jaehwan faked a frown.

“No! That’s not how it works.” He made his voice go up in pitch and Wonshik could no longer hold back his laugh when a hand came in contact with his knee again – harder this time. Faking pain; he curled himself up, legs lifting behind Jaehwan and making him fall slightly forward. Clumsily he fell into Wonshik’s chest again with a huff.

“Hey!” He complained, but Wonshik could hear he wasn’t really annoyed. Despite all his pretending; the older was not easily angered. Especially Wonshik would have to do a lot to anger him. If he felt extra playful one day; he would try pushing the limits. He was not always rewarded with what he was after when he did, but the times he was made it worth it.

Today was not one of those days, so he let Jaehwan go easily when he struggled to come out of the hold his legs had on him. Soon he was seated on the opposite side of the couch from him, still within reach but too far away for comfort.

Wonshik’s fingers itched to lean forward and take him back.

“I’m gonna sing now so shut up.”

Jaehwan gave him a warning look. It was as if he knew exactly what Wonshik was thinking. He chuckled quietly and nodded in surrender, settling himself anew in his seat to focus on Jaehwan only.

He had told him about this song what had to be weeks ago; one of those times where they sat together on the couch on each their own laptops and were alone together, changing between playing the music on their Bluetooth speaker.

He had said the song made him feel lighter. Jaehwan had told him it felt good.

With Jaehwan’s voice singing it; it made him fall in love all over again, eyes shining with wetness as he watched his favorite voice in the world come to life.

Ohh, how he loved the sound of his voice.


	7. No Power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pure smut, so if that’s not your cup of tea I can assure you that you can comfortably skip this chapter and not miss anything of importance in this story.

Even when too exhausted to move, Wonshik could never deny Jaehwan anything. Even though Jaehwan had all the tricks needed up his sleeve, it took him absolutely no effort with Wonshik. He was too soft, too easy, to resist.

That’s how he found himself lying on his back in his bed, body spread out and aching painfully from a long day of physical strains, groaning in half-protest as Jaehwan climbed on top of him with fire alight in his eyes. Wonshik was newly showered and more ready for a good night’s sleep than ever.

“Please, Jaehwan, I can’t…” He whimpers, but he knew it was for naught. He knew that look in Jaehwan’s eyes, and he could do nothing but let him have his way with him.

Jaehwan leaned down and soon the sensation of lips tracing his jaw up to his ear sent shivers down his spine, and his tired body responded by making him gasp for air as if splashed with cold water. He felt the other smile, a puff of hair as he breathed on his skin – creating goosebumps.

He had absolutely no power.

“You don’t have to move.” Jaehwan murmured into his ear and the sound traveled all the way through his body and settled in his abdomen. He groaned pitifully as if he’s been hurt, but he felt the anticipation creep out from within him, creating energy from air.

“I’m exhausted…” He whimpered; his final plea for mercy, but Jaehwan would not have it. Hand stroked its way across Wonshik’s naked torso, leaving tingling sensations in its path from the light touch, and found the other side of his head. He’s guided to face Jaehwan and full lips meet his own small ones in a short, soft kiss. Wonshik groaned again, body aching all over as it warmed up to the administrations.

“I’ll take care of you.” Jaehwan promised and Wonshik knew he was in too deep. The battle was long lost. Perhaps even before he fell onto the bed with Jaehwan’s eyes on him after his shower. Deepening the kiss; he accepted his fate with a soft moan, making the other smile into his mouth before he let his tongue slip in and explore.

All the air in his lungs seemed to be sucked out of him and he gasped desperately for air when Jaehwan finally released him to immediately kiss his way downwards. Wonshik’s chest rose rapidly from his panting as Jaehwan created a trail of wet marks down the center line of his naked chest. He felt impossibly hot now, the sheets underneath him sticking to his back and his head cloudy with exhaustion and want.

He realized Jaehwan wouldn’t stop any time soon when he passed his navel, the kiss there making his abs jump strangely at the sensation, and whimpered at what he knew was coming. A quick glance from Jaehwan’s eyes at the sound and he knew for sure what was about to happen. Hands steeled themselves to the sheets and his eyes shut tightly only moments before he gasped desperately at the sensation of Jaehwan taking his cock all at once with every intention of tearing him apart from the inside.

His body curled in on itself at the sudden explosion of sensations blasting through his nerves, and Wonshik was nearly shouting when Jaehwan slid off with a hard suck at the tip. His cock was free and he felt himself relax for one single moment before the sensations were back and Jaehwan was sucking him off with determination.

Two repeats later and Wonshik was gone with a blinding orgasm rocking through his exhausted body, a strange mix of pain and white pleasure overwhelming him to the point of not even being able to make a sound – only a guttural gurgle leaving his mouth as his body tensed as if electrocuted.

He was slipping away, but could still feel Jaehwan’s feather kisses on his way back up to his face, and then the slow, loving kiss on his mouth before a silent “sleep well my love” was whispered into his ear, and he was long gone.


	8. Delay

Jaehwan’s bed had been feeling cold and empty for a week now. One week was one week too many in his opinion. The apartment was too clean, too cold and almost foreign to him when he was left there alone for too long.

He would end up fleeing from it, seeking the company of their friends instead of staying home. He never liked being alone for too long anyway.

With his worry filled up to the brim he sat with his two empty cups of coffee and waited, eyes never leaving the arrivals board. One of the cups was not intended for him, but the delay that was announced one hour before had left him drinking both cups.

Then; body shaky from caffeine and the unsettling feeling on things not going as they should have left him shaking his legs restlessly in his seat on the waiting hall bench. The stress was around him like an aura, making people walk in an unconscious circle around him and avoiding the available seat beside him.

01:20AM. One hour and ten minutes delayed. And Jaehwan on the verge of fear.

There was nothing he could do but wait, really, and stare intently at the board and the number belonging to Wonshik’s flight. He wished he taken Hakyeon’s offer to come with him to the airport. The trip was supposed to be short and swift; he had even arrived a little late.

Delay after delay announced later he had been eaten up by his own stress for about two hours.

Then the board flickered and Wonshik’s flight was finally registered as arrived. Most of his worry was instantly replaced with immense relief and he felt his lungs let go and let him breathe normally again. He could no longer sit in his seat; ended up pacing back and forth, throwing away his garbage, rearranging his bag, putting on his jacket – he was _so_ ready to leave.

He had brought an extra scarf for Wonshik, and he took it out of his bag to hold ready. The weather had suddenly turned much colder while he was away. Scarf in hand; he thought about his reaction when he would wrap it around his neck. He could imagine the touched look in his eyes, how his lips would purse shyly and maybe even mumble a quiet thanks that only he could hear. If he was extra lucky he would blush.

The thought made him smile, and he felt excited, nearly bouncing in his steps as he paced along the railing blocking him from the arrivals hall. The arrivals would stream in at any time now, and he wanted to see Wonshik’s face when he noticed him.

He stopped his pacing when he finally saw his stark white hair stand out from the crowd and come walking towards him with long legs and determined steps. His height and hair made him stand out like a beacon, easily spotted, his tired-looking eyes scanning the crowd Jaehwan was standing in. Jaehwan waved, but so did everyone else.

A light flashed in Wonshik’s eyes when he finally spotted him and made eye-contact. His mouth turned into a tired smile right away and Jaehwan’s heart soared in cheers. He suddenly wanted to jump up and down, but instead he held his arms out for the other to lean into him when he finally came within reach.

Wordlessly Wonshik crashed into him, a little harder than necessary, and Jaehwan’s happy laugh came out of him in a start in the impact. They hugged tightly, rocking from side to side and groaning as they smiled into each other’s shoulders. He inhaled his scent from the crook of his neck, and felt him doing the same. The scent chased away the remaining worry and his world once again felt like a welcoming place.

His home had returned to him.

Where he had thought he would be the one to cling desperately onto Wonshik and needing comforting words, he found the other hold him just as tightly and Jaehwan’s the one to quietly murmur comforting words in his ear, all the while stroking his back and feeling him relax into him.

“I got you. I got you.” He chanted as Wonshik made whining sounds of relief into his shoulder.

“I missed you.” Jaehwan said when they parted, and he felt himself sniffle. He was about to cry; so exhausted and relieved and straight out overwhelmed. Wonshik was not far from the same, for his eyes were swimming with feelings of love and longing.

Jaehwan could see he wanted to kiss him, so without hesitation he leaned in and gave him a short and sweet one. The younger hummed in appreciation and hands took a hold of his coat and pulled him closer.

“Me too.” He murmured with his gruff and tired voice. He looked so exhausted, Jaehwan wanted to recharge him somehow.

He remembered the scarf that he still held in his hand, and pulled away so he could wrap it around his head carefully. Just as he had imagined; Wonshik snuggled his head into the scarf cutely to hide his reddening face and eyes were shining with emotion. He was never good at hiding how touched he felt. Not able to hold himself back; Jaehwan’s hands both came up to cup Wonshik’s hot cheeks as he laughed happily.

Embarrassed; Wonshik escaped his hold and turned away from him to walk towards the exit, luggage in tow.

“Let’s go home.” He called without turning, and Jaehwan followed with steps far lighter than when he arrived at the airport 3 hours ago. He linked their arms when he caught up to him and slowly he felt the warmth he had missed so much coming from him. Like a hot cup of tea the warmed reached into him and spread all over his body in a comforting way.

What earlier had felt cold and unwelcoming, now felt warm and familiar.


	9. Liquid

“Jaehwan?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you come listen to this for a moment?”

It was really late in the evening and Jaehwan was longing for his warm bed and the fresh sheets he had put on a couple of hours earlier. But Wonshik had fallen into a work loop, an idea having suddenly dawned upon him and making him attached to his computer for hours – all of his attention in his work. Jaehwan loved watching him like that; so concentrated and completely immersed in his own world. He would forget everything around him, and it was kind of beautiful to watch he thought. He loved how genuinely he worked for his dream.

He had been watching him from the other side of the couch, pretending to be watching a show on TV, but really just observing how Wonshik’s face changed as he worked. Frowns, smiles, sighs and unreadable expressions of utter concentration suited him so well.

He moved closer to Wonshik sitting crosslegged with laptop in lap across from him on the couch. Both their knees touching; facing each other. They sat like that so often, talking about the many things they loved.

“What did you make this time?” He asked as he held a hand out for the headphones. There was an insecurity in Wonshik’s face that would never disappear no matter how much Jaehwan praised him, and it appeared once again as he avoided his eyes and handed him the headphones. Expensive and big, isolating out all disturbing sound; a gift from Taekwoon. He took them carefully, felt like he had to with such an expensive and precious thing.

“Just something… I don’t really know what it is.” Wonshik mumbles. Jaehwan smiled but Wonshik could not see; too busy staring at the screen instead. He put on the headphones and nodded to let him play the work.

It was different from what Wonshik normally made. It was certainly not hip hop, the melody clear and played out with a beautiful classical piano that Jaehwan knew would sound very elegant once played out with a real instrument and not just a piano plugin on his program. His fingers itched at the sound, even though he could not play. He felt his smile grow as the beautiful melody continued. It was a beautiful composition, sounding a little melancholic and off but still very soothing.

Wonshik was watching his reactions intently, reading his face and eyes to judge his real reaction and not just the words. He knew what Jaehwan would say; that it was amazing and that he was talented. But he wanted to know for _sure._ He didn’t trust Jaehwan to tell him if something needed a change. It was sort of true; Jaehwan didn’t think his opinion mattered much – he was no composer, only a singer. He knew nothing about this to the extent of deserving an opinion. But he never felt the praise he gave was in any way undeserved. He never lied.

The melody stopped and he sighed. He wanted more.

He lifted one side of the heavy headphones; “Can I hear it one more time?” he asked. Wonshik nodded eagerly, and played it again right away.

The melody was short and unfinished, but it certainly gave away what was to come. This would certainly become a beautiful ballad.

This time he let his body sway at the melody and he could see the glee in Wonshik’s eyes. And with that Jaehwan felt his chest grow warm and his fingers found his knee and squeezed.

“It’s really beautiful.” He said when he pried off the headphones carefully and handed them back to Wonshik. He, in turn, never knew what to answer. He wanted to ask questions Jaehwan could not answer; questions for composers and producers.

“Who is it for?” He asked instead of waiting for Wonshik to find one he can answer.

“For you of course.” He said, and his face was such an open book – of course it’s for you, it said, who else? And Jaehwan felt like adoration consumed him, his entire body tight around him like he was being hugged too hard.

“Thank you.” He said with difficulty, moved to the core. He wondered what the song came from. What was on his mind when he wrote such a melody?

Wonshik smiled shyly and looked at him with those eyes that never lied – the ones that told him of love and longing every day like it was a religion.

What did he ever do to deserve such love?

Surely he must have been a hero.

Reading the emotion overwhelming Jaehwan; Wonshik quickly set away his laptop – his work done for the night – and careful fingers reached out for him. Jaehwan was tired. So, so tired. He felt like he was melting. He didn’t have the strength to hold on as his emotions took over and he fell into a rising Wonshik and was carried away from their livingroom and to their bed, head hanging over his shoulder and legs sloppily wrapped around his middle.

Still hugging they fell carefully onto the bed with a grunt and Wonshik panted with effort as he rolled back off the bed and started undressing his jeans.

Hand coming up to cover his eyes from the world as his heavy and tired body melted into the sheets like liquid, he heard himself breathe heavier than necessary. He felt like he was going to cry, honestly, the feeling coming over him in waves.

He couldn’t really understand what came over him all of a sudden, but he didn’t question it as he felt his pants were opened and tugged off him with effort. He grunted as he tried to lift his legs and help, but he was drained.

What time was it? He didn’t really know, he had been too busy watching to notice time passing.

Bedcovers covered him and soon he felt the warmth of Wonshik’s body by his side and he immediately crawled into it, wanting to be a part of it. He wanted to consume him, it felt like, because at the moment he could never be close enough. So he held on to him as hard as he could with his exhausted body and sighed in relief when he felt calm come over him and his brain immediately felt like it was drifting off to sleep.


	10. Closer

“How are you feeling?” Jaehwan asked an exhausted Wonshik that one hour earlier had simply lied down on the carpet on their livingroom floor with an exhausted whine when he returned home to their apartment. Jaehwan had watched him from his seat on the couch, eyebrow cocked in curiosity but holding back his questions. Wonshik would tell. When he felt like it.

There was a slight grunt from Wonshik and Jaehwan had to hold back a snort. He found it cute; how Wonshik would become a whiny, useless lump of grunts whenever he was exhausted from extra long days. It also meant he became extra clingy, which Jaehwan really didn’t mind.

He got up from his seat and sat down beside Wonshik’s head and let his hand run through his hair softly, earning a slight moan from the lump.

“I was thinking of taking a bath.” Jaehwan murmured softly as he kept stroking. He saw Wonshik’s eyes peek open and his head turned to look at him. The look in his eyes answered more than enough, but he spoke anyway.

“That sounds amazing.” His voice was gruff and barely audible, but the bass vibrated in the floor in a way that tickled Jaehwan. One last stroke and he moved to get the bathtub going.

Wonshik padded into the bathroom a couple of minutes and half-full bathtub later, shoulders hanging and arms hanging down his sides heavily. Jaehwan wanted to just fall into him and hug him warmly, but he knew if he did so the bathtub would have to wait much longer than he wanted. So he watched from where he sat on the edge of the tub, as Wonshik slowly undressed his clothes and gathered them in a pile in the corner of their rather spacious bathroom. The fact that they actually had a bathtub was miraculous enough, but they had somehow managed to get an apartment with a spacious bathroom as well. To balance it up; their bedroom didn’t room much more than their king sized bed.

Successfully naked and Jaehwan intently watching with a growing want to be closer; Wonshik walked over to the tub and was about to step in – the water now almost at the right level and Jaehwan’s hand lingering to shut off the stream – but then hesitated.

“Aren’t you getting in?” He asked and looked Jaehwan’s pajama clad body up and down.

 “After you.” He answered and stopped the water from running. Wonshik stepped into the tub slowly and carefully, forever scared of slipping and falling, while Jaehwan got up and quickly threw away his own clothes and added them to the pile Wonshik had created. He heard Wonshik moan as he sank into the water behind him and his abdomen stirred.

He gathered the soap and salts and grabbed the sponge on his way and kneeled beside the tub, making Wonshik’s closed eyes open and his head lifted to look at him in question.

“Let me take care of you for once.” He answered to the unspoken question, and Wonshik’s eyes widened for a second – and he looked like he was about to protest – before his eyes stirred with affection. A wet hand found Jaehwan’s neck and his entire body shivered at the water dripping down his naked body as he was pulled into a deep and slow kiss.

He couldn’t hold back his moan, his body already relaxed and pliant from being tired and calmed. The sound made the big hand around his neck tighten its grip and Jaehwan had to break the kiss.

“Later.” He promised; a little short of breath and cheeks slightly tinted. His abdomen was stirring up wildly, but he had things to do first. He drowned the sponge in the water after adding the soap and salts, and slowly started cleaning Wonshik’s tired body.

He didn’t get to do it very long before Wonshik started protesting. “You can do that while you’re in here.” He reached out to grab Jaehwan’s sides and motioned for him to stand up. “Come.” He commanded, and Jaehwan had no reason to resist.

Their tub didn’t really fit two people, but they always found a way to make due. Usually it ended with Jaehwan sitting on Wonshik’s lap, but for the sake of back-scrubbing Jaehwan managed to squeeze himself in behind Wonshik.

The water was warm, almost scolding, and very soothing. His body immediately felt warm and mushy as he sunk into the water and let the warmth envelop him. A deep, satisfied sigh escaped him. His arms found Wonshik and hugged him close and felt himself let go and relax completely, the other’s deep sigh and weight on him telling him he felt the same.

They both felt the most safe, comfortable and almost timeless when they were together like that. So in love they both felt they could never get close enough.


	11. Loveless

It was at times when he lay beside Wonshik, awake and unable to find sleep, he would think back and remember there was a time when he refused to believe that Wonshik loved him. It felt stupid after they had come so far together, especially when he watched Wonshik’s peaceful face beside him on the bed and felt nothing but love for him. All doubt and fear of him gone. He always felt so grateful at those times, for Wonshik never giving up on him. He had refused to let him go, even when Jaehwan tried to push him away, convinced he was easily pushed away.

How wrong he was to think such a thing.

He smiled at Wonshik as a slight snoring sound escaped his open mouth. Even his snores could not do anything about his love for him, he thought fondly while resisting the urge to touch his face. He might wake him up if he did.

He thought back to that time when they had first met, how Wonshik had been so overwhelmingly honest with him and so confident from the very beginning. And how he himself had thought it all a big ruse, because there was no way it was possible. He believed too deeply he was not someone to be loved.

Yet Wonshik continuous insistence grew on him. Slowly, surely he wanted to believe in him. No matter how hard he pushed him, Wonshik would push harder. Never giving up. As if he knew that if he gave up even for a moment, Jaehwan would be lost for him forever.

He became used to having him there. Spoiled even. Started craving him; creating a deep, painful fear within that festered like an infected wound. But thanks to Wonshik; despite all the self-doubt he had created a hope. A wish. A want to believe in him growing stronger day by day.

Every day he would wait for him to come meet him and walk with him to class, and every day he would think that one day Wonshik would not come after all. One day, surely, he would give up on him. And that would be the day he would give up on the world and fall apart like a glass figure falling to the ground. He would learn his lesson.

That day never came. And years passed.

Now they share a life together in happiness and Jaehwan would never dream of doubting the love Wonshik had for him.

He had learned a completely different lesson through the years and every day he silently thanked Wonshik for it.

He reached out and took his hand, Wonshik completely undisturbed where he lay on his side, his chest clenching tightly as he held back his emotions welling up and threatening to burst out of him. For a moment he considered moving out and taking a walk to calm down, but then Wonshik’s fingers tighten around his hand. As if he knew he was considering it. Jaehwan studied his face, but he showed no change. Still deep asleep and occasionally snoring.

Jaehwan watches him quietly for a long time. Looking at his features, trying to remember how they were before and how he had changed. He used to be softer on the edges, and his eyes like a child’s despite his face giving the impression of someone older than he really was. Wonshik always acted as if he was ten years older than he really was. Jaehwan was older by a year, but Wonshik was always the responsible and sensible one. Always stable, always strong and supportive. His rock, mountain anchor…

What was he to Wonshik?

At one of their darkest moments, when Jaehwan was certain they had reached the point of end, Wonshik desperately told him:

“Without you there’s nothing.”

And Jaehwan had broken down into tears, flustering him to the point of apologizing for his words. Jaehwan assured him the tears were good tears and held him tightly until he could calm down.

Wonshik is not one to express is love in spoken words very often, rather one to show it through physical affection and those eyes of his, but when he did it always left Jaehwan completely wrecked. It meant so much more that way. His words held so much more value that way, and he never doubted the sincerity anymore.

Feeling as if he was about to melt into the bed, Jaehwan shuffled closer to Wonshik as carefully as possible until he could lean his forehead in to meet his. He closed his eyes tightly and swallowed his emotions before letting them settle with a long exhale.

He did one last peak at his face before going to sleep for real.

“Without you there is nothing.” He whispered quietly into the night. Then drifted to sleep listening to the comforting rhythm of his breathing and his warmth in his hand.


	12. Ache

Wonshik was never one to believe in the things from above or below. He believed people make their own destinies, karma has nothing to do with anything and with hard work and effort you can achieve anything. But when he met Jaehwan he soon came to believe that – them at least – soulmates was a real thing.

He had never been so completely floored and baffled by another person’s mere being. There was no love at first sight, but he always felt a certain attraction to the other – and as soon as he got to know him it turned into much, much more. He drowned in his own overwhelming want to be with the other forever. He wanted to give him the world. He was the world. Without him the world was simply not anything worth being in. A wretched place not worth living in.

That was what being with Jaehwan made him believe.

And that was how he found the strength and determination needed to win him over. It was clear to him Jaehwan had close to no faith in his overwhelming affection for him. It came like a storm after all. Like he had been hit in the head by lightning one night and woke up a new man. It was like magnetism; he just needed to be close to him. At all times. Always. Forever. Until the end. And beyond.

To him Jaehwan became the world, and without him there was nothing. So he had to persevere, because if he didn’t there was nothing else for him. So he stayed until Jaehwan believed in him.

The simplest things he did made his heart beat. His blood boil. His stomach flutter. His abdomen tighten in want. His hands twitch to touch. His face heat up and sweat form on his forehead. He had never, ever imagined how another person’s mere existence could mean so much to him. And leave him so absolutely helpless on lonely nights before they got together. He would lie alone and feel the ache deep in his chest as he hugged himself in the night and tried to anticipate the day he could hold the other close into his chest and tell him he loved him every night. The ache would be suffocating to the point he almost believed he couldn’t even breathe without him.

He had cried the day Jaehwan told him he loved him; on a Christmas eve. The relief and release of pressure in his chest so intense he had to crouch down and gasp for air, hands clinging to Jaehwan’s jacket pathetically while the other stood frozen – speechless from his reaction. Jaehwan had then crouched down with him and kissed the salty tears Wonshik had tried to hide from him and apologized for taking so long and thanking him for being so patient with him.

“If you had given up on me I don’t think I would’ve been able to take it.” Jaehwan had whispered to him and Wonshik felt as if his heart was going to explode. He was unable to move and unable to stop the tears from streaming, but Jaehwan helped him up and took him home through the cold winter night as the snow fell around them and painted a beautiful picture in their memories.

That was the first night of many to come where Wonshik was finally able to hold Jaehwan in his arms as he slept and did not feel the painful ache in his chest any longer. United with his soulmate he felt whole for the first time in his life. And every time they were apart for too long the ache would return to him and steal away his sleep, his energy and his ambition. Without him there was nothing.


	13. Sleep Well

“Is that my shirt?” Wonshik squinted at Jaehwan through the phone screen, their videocall suffering from low quality due to him being in a hotel with crappy wi-fi for the weekend. Jaehwan looked down at himself and chuckled. “Yeah, seems it is. I’ve been wearing it since yesterday. It’s so big and comfortable.” He hummed, smiling until his eyes disappeared into thin lines.

“You look good.” Wonshik mused at him and Jaehwan could almost see how he was getting all mushy inside. It was always so clear on his face when he did. Feeling a pull in his chest from not being able to touch the other through the electrical device, he lay down on his side on the bed, adjusting the phone so it looked like Wonshik was on the bed beside him. Wonshik was lying on his stomach, head supported by both of his hands and phone set up against the bedhead. Behind him Jaehwan could see parts of the hotel room; the TV on the wall behind him and a big, ugly painting beside it. Occasionally he could see Taekwoon wandering back and forth between his bed beside Wonshik’s and what supposedly was their bathroom.

“How was today? Did you write a lot?” He asked after making himself comfortable in the new position, Wonshik’s clearly tired eyes watching him.

“Yeah, we started recording three songs at the same time. It was intense.” He looked even more tired when he said it, making it clear that he was exhausted after the session. “But it was really fun. I’m learning a lot from the others.” He assured and Jaehwan hummed in approval.

“I’m glad it’s going well, you seemed so beat yesterday. I got a little worried.” Jaehwan said then, remembering how depressed Wonshik had seemed when they called the night before – the first night of the songwriting camp he had been looking forward to for an entire year. His excitement and the various impressions from meeting a lot of famous producers had made him too flustered to really be able to create something he felt confident in.

“Yeah…” He sighed, looking regretful and Jaehwan wanted to reach out and caress his head. “I was just really disappointed with myself.” His eyes batted down and Jaehwan’s chest ached for him. He wanted to make him feel better, wanted to wash that frown off his face and tell him he’s amazing. “You can’t always be perfect, it wouldn’t be fair to others.” Was all he could say, his tone lighter than he feels. Wonshik chuckled and his eyes came back to look at him, so he deemed it a small victory.

“God, I miss you.” Wonshik groaned and looked straight into his eyes through the phone with pain in his eyes. Jaehwan groaned in response, feeling the ache from deep within. It had only been 2 days without him and the ache was already there. He both hated and loved it at the same time. Loved it because it was a confirmation of sorts, hated it because it was painful and stole away his sleep and concentration.

“It’s hard to sleep when I know I’m not waking up with you beside me.” Jaehwan mumbles to him and the pain in Wonshik eyes seemed to only increase, making him feel a little bad for causing it. “I’ll be home before you know it.” He assured Jaehwan.

“Two more days.” Jaehwan sighed. Two more days of heartache. At least they had videocalls.

“Yeah…” Wonshik sighed as well, seemingly having no more energy to keep his head up and let it fall down into his pillow.

“You’re tired, we should probably hang up now.” Jaehwan said with worry at the sight of the other face-down in his pillow, groaning miserably.

Wonshik’s head lifted and with eyes barely open he looked Jaehwan right in the eyes. “Let me look at you a little longer.” He said, and then his head turned to listen as there was a murmur in the background. A chuckle and then he turned back to look at Jaehwan again. “Hyung says we’re being gross.”

“Well, tell him we’re gonna have phone sex now so he should leave the room for an hour or so.” Jaehwan said wickedly, knowing the reaction it would spur from them both, because Taekwoon can hear him perfectly well due to speaker being on. He laughed breathily as Wonshik’s head flopped back down onto the pillow in embarrassment and the pillow that flew over his head and past the camera view, missing Wonshik just barely. He could hear Wonshik laughing into the pillow, exactly the sounds he needed to hear before going to bed.

“Please come back soon.” Jaehwan said seriously when the laughter died down and Wonshik’s eyes were back to peeking at him from the fluff of his pillow. He looked happy. And he lifted his head just enough so Jaehwan could see his mouth too and smiled at him fondly. “I will. Two more days. I’ll be home before you know it.” He promised.

The light in the room suddenly turned much darker, the only light left one that glowered directly onto Wonshik’s face. Wonshik turned to look to his side. “Going to sleep?” He asked Taekwoon and then turned back to Jaehwan after receiving an answer Jaehwan could only barely hear the trace of a murmur of.

“I think I need to go.” Wonshik sighed and looked at him with sorry eyes.

“Yeah…” Jaehwan sighed but smiled at him. If only they could videocall while sleeping, that would have been nice he thought to himself.

“Sleep well.” Wonshik’s voice was barely audible. Jaehwan realized he was already drifting.

“I’ll try.” He promised.

“I love you.” One last look from Wonshik as he lifted his head once again with greater effort, his smile so lovely Jaehwan wanted to take a screenshot.

“I love you too. Good night.” He waved and ended the call. The screen of his phone turned black and the entire room with it, the phone having been the only source of light. He was well draped under the covers in their big bed, but the room seemed cold and big without his partner there to fill it with the sound of his breathing and occasional snoring.

He turned on the night light and pretended it was because the other was yet to join him in bed for the night. A small comfort, but the best comfort he could get as he clutched the shirt that smelled of him and inhaled a deep breath – mind slowly emptying.


	14. Distance

One of the things Jaehwan refused to outright tell Wonshik was how much he loathed being home alone whenever he traveled with Taekwoon to do his songwriting. Being a composer team not assigned to any label forced the two to travel a lot, and wanting to be supportive of the career Wonshik had chosen after so many years of self-doubt and fear for their future – he could never drive himself to ask him to stay at home with him.

But Wonshik kind of knew anyway, Jaehwan saw it in his eyes when he kissed him goodbye and gave him those painful eyes that had words untold. And Jaehwan’s eyes would give him back what he feared, because – unlike his mouth – they were out of his own control. But Wonshik would never know just how bad it was, Jaehwan always made sure.

Wonshik always made sure to call him whenever he could to check on him, but during daytime and before going to bed Jaehwan was always fine. He had things to do; songs to practice, auditions to do or shows to perform – his musical actor career was even more bustling than Wonshik’s composer career, so he was very busy and his mind kept off his longing for the other most of the day.

It was during the night, in their big bed and smaller bedroom, in the darkness of a room only occupied by himself and no other; Jaehwan felt his anxiety crawl up from his abdomen and turn his body cold and his otherwise much loved bedroom into an enemy.

He could stare at the roof all he wanted, count the tiles, count sheep, listen to music, turn on the radio, hug Wonshik’s pillow – none of it could ever replace the presence of his long-legged, snoring boyfriend who’s feet were always cold and tangling into his own for warmth. Nobody in that darkness hugged him to sleep while murmuring words of love.

He was too used to having that next to him, and now he couldn’t find it in himself to sleep without it. He had pills, but they made his head heavy and slow the next day – and he needed to stay sharp. Remember lines and tones.

Wonshik had traveled to the US with Taekwoon. A collaboration job they had been excited about for at least two months. Some American producer had caught word of their work and invited them over for a workshop and they had celebrated for a week after receiving the call. Jaehwan was happy for them, for Wonshik, but could not help but dread being home alone for two weeks.

He had been able to battle his way through 10 days, and he was exhausted to the core from lack of sleep and the mere strain of his anxieties working him up.

4 more days. He stared at the roof and tried to plan out what to do to keep himself busy. It was a long weekend ahead of him. A Friday hitting a holiday and then he didn’t have a show on Monday either.

He stared at the roof and tried to keep down the crawling coldness on its way up his chest the best he could but he knew he had to give up.

He had one more solution. The best of them all, but one he always felt too guilty to use every single time he felt like this. So he waited until he was desperate.

Body shaking slightly he reached out and pulled his phone away from the charger, the cord falling to the floor sloppily from being disconnected, and dialed the number. It was just past midnight and he hoped it wasn’t too late.

“Jaehwan?”

Simply the sound of Hakyeon’s voice was enough to stop the shaking in his body and make him gasp quietly in relief, a sound more similar to a drowning man catching his breath than anything close to a relief. Hakyeon caught on right away. Jaehwan could almost see his kind eyes on him.

“Come on over. We’re just about to go to bed.” He told Jaehwan softly, his voice comforting in a way only he could manage. The voice of someone who truly cares for you. Tears threatened to well up in Jaehwan’s eyes and he struggled to speak properly, not wanting to sound like he was crying. He didn’t want him to worry more. Not more than he already probably did from receiving his call.

“I’ll be right there.” He forced out of his mouth and hung up without letting Hakyeon answer. Resolve rushing through him and the coldness completely gone, he moved out of the bed fast and pulled on a pair of sweats and changed into a fresh t-shirt – not one he had slept in for the last three weeks. He opened their wardrobe’s sliding doors and pulled out an overnight bag he had already packed for nights like these and walked with hurried steps over to the apartment entrance.

He only stepped into a pair of black and white slippers and stepped out, the door locking automatically behind him with a beep as he strode to the elevator – already waiting at his floor – and stepped inside, hand already having pressed the button for the 21st floor from pure habit.

Twelve floors above them; Hakyeon and Hongbin’s apartment. Hakyeon was Jaehwan’s childhood friend and more a big brother than anything else, and Hongbin a resident at the apartment complex when Wonshik and Jaehwan moved in. Chance had Wonshik meeting Hongbin in the elevator, a miracle had them both doing the uncharacteristic act of talking to a stranger, friendship had Hongbin invited to a party at their apartment and – what Hakyeon called destiny – had Hakyeon and Hongbin meeting each other at said party. Little less than a year later Hakyeon also became Jaehwan’s neighbor.

He pressed their doorbell few minutes later with a foot tapping at the tiled hallway floor. He didn’t have to tap many times before Hongbin’s square-jawed face screaming _model_ opened the door and gave him the most sympathetic look he could manage with a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth.

“Sor-“ Jaehwan tried to apologize for intruding but Hongbin gave him a sharp look that could compete with Taekwoon’s and pulled him in by the arm. He tried to say something but gave up when it only resulted in toothpaste flying out of his mouth. He rushed to the bathroom instead, leaving Jaehwan to his own devices as the door closed behind him with a beep.

He stepped out of his slippers and dropped his bag by the bathroom door before stepping into the bedroom, the door cracked open and lights flowing out. Otherwise the entire apartment was in darkness, but Jaehwan knew his way around. The plan was identical to his own apartment, only the arrangement of furniture different from home.

Hakyeon was reading a script on the bed, comfortable propped up with huge pillows (gifted by Jaehwan and Wonshik last Christmas) supporting his back. When Jaehwan stepped into the room he put it away immediately and moved to get out of bed.

“Come here.” He said and motioned for Jaehwan to hug him with his arms spread out wide. Jaehwan wasn’t really much of a hugger, but there were exceptions and tonight he really needed it. And of course Hakyeon knew as much. He rushed into the embrace and held on tight, his pulse still not having calmed down since he left his own bed.

“How many days left?” Hakyeon asked. Jaehwan sighed heavily, wanting to cry again.

“Four.” He whined and Hakyeon hugged him tighter.

“You know you’re always welcome.”

Jaehwan nodded into his shoulder without a word, holding back his tears with desperation. He hated crying in front of people. Especially those he didn’t want to worry.

“I talked with Sanghyuk on the phone for a really long time earlier, he’s pretty miserable too.” Hongbin said as he walked into the room clad in checkered pajama pants and a worn t-shirt. “You know how he gets when he’s bored – he’s basically crawling up the walls of Taekwoon’s apartment since he’s on break.”

“He’s catsitting?” Jaehwan questioned, letting Hakyeon subtly lead him to the big bed as he kept his eyes on Hongbin.

“I think he might be moving in after this one.” Hakyeon said with conspiracy ringing in his tone. Taekwoon and Sanghyuk were still news, only a few months having passed since they started being serious, but Sanghyuk had been spending considerably less time in his University dorm the last few weeks. Staying in Taekwoon’s apartment for two continuous weeks to watch his cat seemed like a window for a permanent move-in.

“I hope he does.” Hongbin said with a sigh and a smile, the couple exchanging looks while Jaehwan crawled onto the bed.

Somehow this arrangement worked for them without any trouble; Jaehwan sleeping in between the two like a scared child having crawled into bed with his parents. Jaehwan knew Hakyeon didn’t mind, they had shared beds since before they lost their milk teeth without feeling weird about it, but it took him a long time to realize Hongbin really didn’t mind either. He would never quite understand why, but he was too grateful to care.

He lay on his back in the middle on the bed with Hongbin’s back towards him on one side and Hakyeon’s arm draped over his chest like a protective shield. If it was one thing Hakyeon made him feel, it was protected. Not to the level of Wonshik, but close enough for him to feel comfortable. And as he lay there he tried to think of Wonshik and how he made him feel when beside him. The way he would hold him hand in his sleep, the sound of his breath and the occasional snoring, the warmth of his body but cold of his feet and the smell of his clothes – the same as Jaehwan but with a personal touch.

He made up a clear image in his head and clung to it desperately as he slowly fell to a shallow sleep between his two friends, Hakyeon’s arm warm across his stomach.

\--

There was a sound and Jaehwan’s body jerked on full alert; straight up to a sitting position, Hakyeon’s arm gone somewhere in the night and pulled to his own chest, and eyes desperately adjusting to the pitch dark of the bedroom so similar to his own. He made out the shape of their closet, a different from the one in his apartment and placed in the opposite corner. He saw the picture of the four of them on the wall, taken by Hongbin one summer evening two years ago and given to Jaehwan and Hakyeon last Christmas as a gift. Jaehwan’s copy was above his TV, but Hakyeon had wanted his in the bedroom – the first thing you see when you sit up in bed in the morning.

The door to the room creaked open and Jaehwan held his breath, heart picking up in slight panic.

 _It has to be a dream._ He told himself in his head, trying to calm down, hand coming to his chest.

“Jaehwan?”

Wonshik’s whisper caught his ear and he knew for a fact he had to be dreaming. Until he saw clearly the drawn and tired face of someone who had traveled by airplane for too many hours and arrived home to find his apartment empty.

Wonshik stepped into the room and saw Jaehwan staring at him in disbelief and his mouth cracked into a big, but tired, and absolutely beautiful smile – and Jaehwan gasped, tears coming to his eyes in relief.

“You’re home.” He heard himself say. Wonshik stepped towards him, arms already reaching forward and Jaehwan struggled to move closer.

“I’m home.” Wonshik said and his voice wavered like it was about to crack. He moved faster to the end of the bed where Jaehwan was now finally up on his knees and his arms desperately reaching for the other. He was just about to fall forward, unable to keep his balance on the soft mattress, when Wonshik caught him and Jaehwan climbed onto his body like a tree – Wonshik barely able to hold him up with his exhausted body.

They groaned in unison and inhaled the scent of each other and Wonshik’s eyes welled up with tears while Jaehwan’s arms tightened with all the strength he could muster. Wonshik struggled, but carried them out of the room – the couple in bed still not awakened and he wanted to keep it that way. It was 5AM after all. An ungodly hour to come home and wake your friends with your surprise return.

“I had to come home.” Wonshik said brokenly once the door to the bedroom was quietly shut behind them. Jaehwan set down his legs and pulled away to look at him. He was about to answer but couldn’t stop himself from stealing a long, soft kiss first.

The kiss made him melt into Wonshik again, like it was the ultimate drug that he had craved for so long. It made him moan and Wonshik went a little rigid, his breath a little labored, and Jaehwan could taste the salt of his tears on his lips.

He pulled away again and saw his teary eyes and dreadfully exhausted face in the light of the sunrise pouring in through the livingroom windows and felt so utterly in love his chest hurt. He couldn’t get enough of this man, how was it possible to want someone so badly? So much his entire body ached with need to smell and touch and taste.

He kissed him one more time, quickly, breaking off Wonshik’s talking. He had more to say, but Jaehwan didn’t care about why he was home early. He was too happy he was there.

“-wait- Jaehwan.” Wonshik chuckled when Jaehwan kissed his mouth every time he tried to talk and it made Jaehwan smile and sigh at the sound. He stopped, finally, leaning back to listen without letting him out of the embrace of his arms.

“I had to come home because I simply couldn’t work over there with you so far away. I couldn’t think without you there.” Wonshik said seriously, blushing slightly – like he always did when speaking from his heart. Jaehwan’s eyes softened and he wanted to kiss him again, but he waited.

“If there’s a next time you have to come with me.” Wonshik added and then a frustrated sigh. “I can’t be away from you this long, I can’t take it.”

His eyes shied away to look down and another tear fell down his cheek. Jaehwan lifted his hand and dried it away. He was conflicted; he wanted to tell him he felt it even worse but at the same time he didn’t want him to feel bad for being away. He knew if he said how bad it was he would never go work on his dream again, all for his sake. He knew Wonshik would sacrifice it all for him.

But that’s not what Jaehwan wanted.

“I’m just glad you’re here with me now.” He said and shoved away the rest for another time. Another talk. He leaned in so their forehead touched and Wonshik looked back up. He poured out his love through his eyes and whispered: “Let’s go home.”


	15. Landline

-Late spring of 2010-

“Cheers!”  
“To nailing the finals!”  
“For freedom!”

The cheers were many and overlapping when Jaehwan and his handful of friends and dorm mates raised their glass bottles of the cheapest beer and let them clash so the glass rang like bells in the small shared livingroom of the sharehouse a selection of them lived in, Jaehwan and Hakyeon included. Outside the rain was roaring and the air was thick with choking humidity; washing all possible plans of going out to a restaurant and get some grilled pork or chicken and soju that night.

Inside they would stay. With their beers and total lack of chairs, the nine boys almost turned men spread out on the floor around a low table full of bottles – full and empty the like. Jaehwan and Hakyeon sat side-by-side and shared grins while clashing their glasses together for an extra cheer only for the two of them before finally drinking the entire contents of their bottles in one go.

This was how Jaehwan spent many weekends after he entered university the year before. He was a freshman and most of the year had been spent either studying or building up his resistance to alcohol.

Or visiting or talking to Wonshik on the phone. His longing for him was a growing, dull, constant ache.

“Let’s play a game!” Hakyeon’s friend Minhyuk declared as he started opening new bottles of beer for them all. “Looser takes a shot of soju!” He continued, holding up their precious single bottle of soju in store – none of them willing to do a grocery store run to get more. But they had lots of beer to compensate.

A collective mess of groans and cheers filled the room, Jaehwan cheering because he’s good at games. “Let’s play 3-6-9!” He suggested and shared a look with Hakyeon who also preferred the game. They grinned at each other as the crowd agreed to their suggestion, knowing they would beat them all under the table.

Jaehwan was tipsy and too concentrated on the game to notice the ringing sound in the background.

“Hey, Jaehwan, the phone’s ringing.” Hakyeon pulled him out of his concentration from beside him, pushing his shoulder with his own so he lost balance and fell backwards. Laughing and a little disoriented he didn’t quite understand why the share house’s home phone ringing had anything to do with him, until he caught Hakyeon’s eyes and remembered.

_Wonshik._

He had been complaining to Hakyeon all week about how they hadn’t been able to call each other since last Friday. More than a week without talking was a personal record for them, and he hated that fact. What if it grew even longer next time? What if they drifted apart? Was Wonshik giving up on him?

A sudden feeling of urgency had him scramble to his feet, his socks slipping on the wooden floor clumsily as he made his way to the phone resting on a table in the far corner of the room. The phone was old; left there by their landlady for emergencies and for her to contact them off their cellphones, and the sound it made was loud and shrilling – hurting his ears.

“Everyone shut up!” He shouted at the others, now playing without him and Hakyeon – who was busy looking at Jaehwan – and making a real racket. “Be quiet!” He demanded and they lowered their volume just a little after an extra reminder from Hakyeon.

Jaehwan picked up the phone as soon as his hands reached the old fashioned receiver, making a metallic ringing sound as he lifted it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Hey.”

Jaehwan’s face changed from curiosity and light concern to a full smile and a blush creeped its way across his face and ears. He turned and looked at Hakyeon excitedly and his friend flashed him a relieved smile before Jaehwan turned back to face the wall and talk to his boyfriend in peace.

“Hey.” He breathed back with a slight chuckle. He could hear the relief in his own voice. He was sure Wonshik could hear him smiling.

“You didn’t answer your cell.” Wonshik said, but he didn’t sound accusing or annoyed, simply stating a fact – yet Jaehwan felt sorry, his forehead leaning to the wall in front of him as he bit his lip in guilt.

“Yeah, it’s broken.” His fingers played with the phone cord as he spoke, trying not to speak loud enough for the other to hear. He wanted their conversation to be private. More than anything he wanted to be alone with Wonshik, but talking on the phone was the second best thing.

“Again?”

“I need a new one, but I can’t afford it.” He sighed.

“I’ll help you.” Wonshik’s innocence and his eagerness to help and give whatever he could leaked through and Jaehwan flashed another smile to the wall at how cute it was.

“No, you don’t have to. I’ll save up eventually, promise.”

“But I want to.” Wonshik said stubbornly, his deep voice going deeper as he spoke more quietly as if speaking for to himself than Jaehwan. Maybe because he knew he had lost already.

“I won’t let you, you need to save up for a keyboard, remember?” He said, but his voice was drowned out by the loud cheers of the friends behind him – someone finally lost the game and had to drink – and Wonshik couldn’t hear half of it.

“What? I didn’t hear you. Are you having a party?”

“We’re having some friends over- hang on.” He looked around and saw the kitchen door, and after eyeing the phone cord for a moment he walked over and stepped inside. The cord was barely long enough for him to step in and close the door behind him, the sounds from the room becoming muffled behind the thick wood of the old door. The cord was stretched to its limit and Jaehwan had to sit down with his back to the door in order to hold the receiver up to his ear. “Okay, I’m here.”

“I missed you this week. Sorry for not calling.” Wonshik said then and Jaehwan could hear his guilt. He felt his chest ache at the thought of Wonshik’s sweet eyes looking at him and curled himself up with his knees to his chest. “I missed you too.” I said so softly it was almost a whisper.

“It’s lonely. Without you here.” Wonshik said and Jaehwan closed his eyes and a sorrow grew within him. It was getting harder and harder for them to be apart, a side of him he never knew existed. It wasn’t like him to be dependent on others, but with Wonshik it was different.

“I can’t wait until summer break. Be prepared to have me move into your bed. I won’t leave it for a second the entire break, just you wait.” Jaehwan joked halfheartedly, trying to act less sad than he really was. Even though Wonshik wasn’t far away, they hardly got to see each other in person with their schedules making it challenging to meet. Jaehwan wasn’t allowed to have overnight visitors either. He couldn’t wait for him to finish high school and catch up with him to university.

Wonshik chuckled quietly and Jaehwan couldn’t help but smile. He loved that laugh so much. “I don’t mind.” Wonshik said and Jaehwan could picture him smiling.

“I want to see you.” Jaehwan said quietly, closing his eyes to try picture his face but not quite managing to. Wonshik sighed into the receiver and his breath made horrible sounds in Jaehwan’s ear, making him flinch.

“It’s our 2 year anniversary next Sunday.” Wonshik’s voice lingered on the sentence, thinking. “How about I take the train in and we spend the day together?”

Jaehwan smiled warmly, cradling the phone to his face and his insides tickling him with feelings of affection. Of course Wonshik would count the first time Wonshik confessed to him as their anniversary, and not the day Jaehwan actually accepted to date him – much later. He liked that he didn’t have to tell him that he liked him even that day, even though he rejected him.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” He answered warmly; his voice had gone soft and mushy, like they were flirting on the phone under the covers of their beds. “How about we just hang out in a coffee shop and talk?” He suggested softly.

“I’d love that.” Wonshik answered softly, matching Jaehwan’s tone.  
“I can’t wait.”   
“Me neither.”

They both paused naturally, their thoughts lingering on meeting the other in one week and being able to hold each other again. To kiss. To see the other smile. Jaehwan bit his lip to keep himself from laughing happily at the thought.

“How was your week?” Jaehwan murmured after a long silence.

“Crazy. I had a group project and my group members were horrible.” He sighed, very obviously still annoyed. “I thought I was a mediocre student, but these people really didn’t care about the result.” Wonshik sounded so pained and Jaehwan hurt for him. In order to be accepted to a university in the city, closer to Jaehwan, Wonshik was working really hard to improve his grades last minute.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Was it hard to get a good grade?”   
“Yeah, I had to pull everyone else’s load on top of my own. But the worst part was not being able to talk to you.” Wonshik’s voice cracked slightly, then him concealing it with a cough, and Jaehwan frowned. “You should have called anyway.” He tried, but he was met with a tired sigh.

“I got home in the middle of the night every day, I didn’t wanna wake you.”

“I don’t mind. If it’s you.”

Wonshik paused at that, and Jaehwan heard his breath hitch. He was touched, it always made him quiet. He tried to picture his blushing cheeks and red ears, a slight smile on his small lips. So loveable.

“You won’t mean that anymore when I call you at 2 am.” Wonshik’s tone was light, so close to a chuckle. It made Jaehwan want to make him laugh.

“But my curses are better than nothing, right?” He said and Wonshik laughed properly and Jaehwan’s heart swelled within him and he closed his eyes as if it would make him hear better.

“You’re right.” Wonshik said then. “All I need is the sound of your voice and it will have made my day.”

Jaehwan groaned and he knew Wonshik was smiling smugly at the cheesy line. He knew he loved them and all the cheese he could provide, no matter how much he groaned. Still; he called him an idiot, which made him laugh again and Jaehwan counted that as a personal win.

“I need to go to bed now, sorry.” Wonshik said and Jaehwan felt sad again. He would talk all night if he could, even if it just meant hearing him breathe on the other side.

“I really missed you this week.” Jaehwan felt like he had to say it again to make it clear enough to the other that his longing for him was getting worse. His affection for him was growing. Bigger and stronger, day by day.

“I missed you too. I’ll call again tomorrow, okay?”  
“Promise?”  
“Promise.”  
“Good night.”  
“Night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who might be confused: this is a blast from the past. When Kenvi was in the early stages of dating and Jaehwan is off in university and Wonshik still stuck in high school because he’s 1 year younger. Hope you enjoyed~


	16. A Christmas Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set a few weeks after "Distance"

For the first time in maybe 5 years snow fell in Seoul. Feeling a little childish with how giddy it made him feel, Jaehwan walked through the very same park he usually spent his sleepless nights, on his way home from a long day of work. It had been a good day; he was only a few shows away from having two months of cleared schedules and then it was back to practice for his next musical coming up in the spring. He walked with a bounce in his step as he watched the snow fall slowly to the ground around him and making everything white. If Wonshik was up for it he would drag him with him out right before bed to make a snowman or maybe even some snow angels.

Wonshik was home and had vowed not to take on any new projects until after Christmas. They didn’t do much for the holiday usually, but Jaehwan wanted him at home with him – for them to have some quality time and relax together for several days and spend Christmas day with Kevin*. And then they would spend New Year’s Eve at Hakyeon’s party; a tradition in the making. Wonshik’s last long trip away had been rough on them both and they needed time together to recuperate. At that very moment Wonshik was waiting at home with delivered pizza, at least that’s what his text from earlier had promised.

The air was cold and dry, frosty white mist coming out of Jaehwan’s mouth in puffs as he walked out of the park and onto the street where he lived. A bright light caught his attention; the antique shop across the narrow one-way street was still open. Jaehwan checked his wristwatch quickly, confirming that it was very late for such a shop to be open, and crossed the street in curiosity. The antiques shop didn’t actually have any regular business hours; it was open whenever the owner felt like it, it seemed. Wonshik had pointed it out several times after noticing once at first when he had tried as much as five times in a week to go buy them a new coffee table (he had insisted on buying an antique for some reason he never really explained), only to find it closed every time he tried. Then; one day Jaehwan was simply out to buy some eggs for breakfast at the convenience store beside the shop, it had been open and he had quickly texted for Wonshik to come and buy that stupid table right away or else they might never get one.

Apparently that was the only time Wonshik had seen the shop open for business.

It was most certainly open that winter evening when Jaehwan crossed the street and peeked through the window that was casting light so brightly it made the snow in front of the shop window yellow almost all the way across the street. The shop owner had decorated prettily with Christmas lights all over the shop, it looked like.

Never having been inside the shop before and with his curiosity awakened; Jaehwan entered the shop, a bell chiming above his head as he pulled open the heavy wooden framed glass door reading “Mr. Kim’s Antiques” in English. He realized quickly that ‘antiques’ meant _all_ old things when he saw the vast amount of _stuff_ all over the shelves and floors of the over-furnished room. It was like a jungle of wooden furniture and knick-knacks and books and big watches making loud ticking noises out of synch. He thought that if he had entered this shop as a kid he would think of it as magic. Even now, as an adult, it kind of was.

Despite the sound of him entering, nobody entered the shop to greet him. No eccentric Mr. Kim to complete the image of this shop being a massive _strange_ among all the normal you would find once you went outside. Jaehwan walked around carefully, trying his best not to touch anything with his body or his backpack as he made his way down an aisle of shelves filled with animal figures of all sizes. They looked worn and faded, but he could see the appeal. These were things from a very different time. But they did not make him stop moving. He felt drawn inwards through the shop, past several beautiful and not-so-beautiful pieces of furniture and lamps and art and so on, until he stopped at the sight of an acoustic guitar.

It didn’t look as old as many of the other things in the shop, and very well maintained. It was in a dark brown wood material and had a shiny finish that made it look very _clean._ Still; it looked like it had some stories to tell. Jaehwan couldn’t take his eyes off it.

“You’re meant to have this guitar.” A voice sounded behind him and Jaehwan almost jumped out of his skin. Turning around in horror at first, only to find an old, grey and very short man stand there smiling friendly at him.

“What?” Jaehwan asked dumbly, even though he had heard the man clearly.

“The guitar is calling to you.” The man said matter-of-factly. Of course the guitar was calling for Jaehwan. The most natural thing in the world. Jaehwan cocked an eyebrow, not entirely convinced. He had heard many salesmen’s bullshit trying to talk him into buying something he didn’t need.

He had felt drawn to it though.

“What’s its story?” He challenged the old man. It was probably Mr. Kim himself. The man smiled at him again and then gave the guitar a long look, the pause between them bordering on uncomfortable when he finally spoke.

“It’s Japanese. Nothing special. An exchange student sold it to me three years ago. He said it was a gift from his girlfriend, but they broke up and he couldn’t bear to look at it a moment more.” The man shrugged at the story. Jaehwan was almost a little disappointed at the lack of drama in the story, but then again; if the story was dramatic it was most likely not true.

“Maybe it’s bad luck.” He joked, but the man frowned at him with angry eyebrows.

“Nono, this guitar bears a message of love! Don’t you feel it?” He said with true conviction. Jaehwan felt himself believing him. Then he felt a little annoyed with himself for being so gullible.

“But they broke up.” He countered.

“Yes, but it was gifted by a girl much in love it took harbor in the guitar. Like a vessel. It attracts people who are in love; I have seen it many times in this shop. You’re in love with someone currently, no?”

“Yes, but-“

“See?! The guitar knows! It is calling you.”

 At that point Jaehwan had had just about enough of the man. He wanted to go home and eat pizza with Wonshik and maybe have a bath after. Maybe even with him. He was already later than promised by simply entering the shop, he didn’t have time to stand there and talk legends with an old man.

“Sorry, I need to go home.” He said, avoided the man’s eyes and turning towards the door. He only walked two steps away from the guitar before he felt the same feeling of being drawn towards it again. He turned his head to look at it again.

“How much is it?”

\--

Wonshik’s pizza was late. So was Jaehwan. Getting worried if the pizza wouldn’t arrive before Jaehwan, and then for the safety of Jaehwan who was walking home from the subway station across the park; Wonshik stared at the wall clock intently from where he stood in the middle of the living room. He was in an awkward stance, stopped up in-between walking from the bedroom to the kitchen after realizing how late it was already and how nothing was on time. Not even him. The table was supposed to be set by then, the pizza should have been there already and Jaehwan should be standing in the doorway untying his shoes – according to his own calculations. Granted; he did have a very complicated relationship with time. It always seemed to run from him when he needed it the most, only to be too slow for him when he needed it to be faster. And then it would disappear altogether whenever he and Taekwoon were working on something good.

He stood frozen, just staring at the clock, for several minutes before he finally snapped out of his trance at the sound of the doorbell. Pizza, finally.

He was able to set the table and light some candles before Jaehwan finally arrived at their entrance, carrying a big case of…something.

“Hey, thank you for waiting. I got caught up with something.” Jaehwan explained as Wonshik immediately walked up to him for a welcoming quick kiss on the lips. “I’ll explain once we eat, I’m starving.” Jaehwan smiled happily at him and Wonshik would never say no.

“What _is_ that?” He cocked an eyebrow at the big case. It looked old and worn, a faded black color covering the awkward shape. Jaehwan grinned at him while taking off his shoes. “A gift.”

Wonshik’s eyebrows raised in simultaneous surprise. “For who?”

“For us.”

Wonshik’s eyebrows spoke of surprise again. “From who?”

Jaehwan laughed and kissed him again quickly and then made his way past him to the kitchen, the case bumping into him as it passed. It had made him blush. “From the universe.” Jaehwan said with amusement and Wonshik was very confused. He followed to the kitchen and finally caught a proper look at the case, realizing what the shape was. “It’s a guitar.” He stated.

“Yup.” Jaehwan confirmed and set it down beside the table and sat down, clearly ready to dig in. He barely waited for Wonshik to sit down before the first slice of pizza was in his mouth and he was chewing happily.

Jaehwan told him about the strange happening at the antique store across the street with great feeling – Jaehwan’s a fantastic storyteller – and put much emphasis on how he felt as if the guitar had made him enter the shop in the first place. It was the kind of story Wonshik would normally blow off as a mere fantasy, but he felt himself becoming convinced from how Jaehwan told the story. It still sounded strange to him, though, and he wouldn’t be convinced completely unless he felt something too when faced with this strange guitar.

“Kinda cool, isn’t it?” Jaehwan grinned at him while grabbing a third slice of pizza and Wonshik thought he looked at least 10 years younger. And so cute he almost couldn’t bear it.

“How much did you have to pay for it though? It sounds like something you would have to pay a fortune for.” Wonshik asked worriedly, thinking Jaehwan might have been ripped off by this old man. If so; he would take that guitar and march into that shop and really let that man know just how shitty he was.

“That’s the thing! He gave it to me for free! He said it chose me. Sounds like something out of a Disney movie, doesn’t it?” Jaehwan laughed.

“It really does.” Wonshik said fondly, slowly melting into his chair at how happy Jaehwan was this evening. Jaehwan being happy wasn’t exactly a rare thing, but their moods had been strained lately after his return from the US. Both of them had felt it and they had talked about it, but they couldn’t really see any real solution to it other than to spend some quality time together to get comfortable again.

That strained feeling felt but a faint memory at that moment, with Jaehwan smiling and grinning and laughing at him with stories of a guitar attracted to people in love and therefore attracted to him.

Wonshik loved him so much then. Impossibly so.

\--

Jaehwan helped Wonshik with the dishes before he grabbed the guitar case that had been given along with the guitar and carried it to their livingroom area and their couch. He set the case on top of the coffee table and waited for Wonshik to sit down beside him before he snapped the locks open and revealed the guitar.

It was a beautiful guitar from a Japanese brand and the sight of it made Wonshik gasp quietly. At the sight of it Wonshik had expected to feel something similar to the feeling Jaehwan had described having in the shop, but that was not what he felt. A warmth spread through his body; the same warmth he would feel whenever he felt fond of something Jaehwan did or said – something completely ordinary but still so like Jaehwan, things you noticed when you truly knew him.

“Whoah.” He breathed, staring at the instrument. Jaehwan sat still beside him, smiling.

“It feels strange, doesn’t it?” Jaehwan asked him softly, almost whispering as if scared of ruining the moment.

“Yeah.” Wonshik answered. His fingers twitched. He wanted to touch it. “Can I?” He looked at Jaehwan for permission.

“Of course!” He exclaimed in return. “I was hoping you’d learn how to play. I’m sure Hongbin’s willing to teach you the basics.”

“I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the guitar.” Wonshik murmured as he reached out and lifted the instrument from the case. On the inside the case was stunning, covered in red, soft, velvety material and the name of the brand in golden embroidery. When he settled in the corner of the couch with the guitar settled in his lap so he could pluck the few notes he actually knew, Jaehwan watched him with bright, shining eyes that spoke of great happiness. To him, Wonshik with the guitar was a true vision. He looked incredibly handsome holding the instrument and he kind of wanted to jump him right away, but he didn’t want to disturb. Instead he settled with imagining Wonshik playing songs that he could sing along with and bringing the guitar with them to the park in the summer to play for the people passing by. Maybe even have Hongbin and Hakyeon tag along and play as well. The thought of it alone made him extremely happy.

Even though the guitar was obviously out of tune and the strings desperately needed changing, Wonshik spent a lot of time just getting to know the guitar with his hands and trying to make little funny-sounding melodies that made Jaehwan laugh or sway in his seat. A melody sounding like a lullaby was given a slightly eerie, creepy effect with the strange tuning – making them both laugh out loud at how it made them shiver.

“We should probably get it tuned.” Wonshik smiled, petting the guitar before setting it back into the case.

“I’ll have Hongbin do it tomorrow.” Jaehwan promised and moved across the couch so he could settle into Wonshik’s lap, head resting on his chest so he could hear his heartbeat. Wonshik’s arms embraced him in a tight hug and then relaxed, one hand stroking his side and the other threading through his hair, slightly tugging at it at times the way Jaehwan loved it. Jaehwan hummed in satisfaction and felt like everything was back in place again after what felt like a long time. For them it had been. A dark cloud that had refused to leave them no matter where they went.

Now it was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: There’s usually a little snow in Seoul every winter, so don’t take my word on weather-details of this chapter…
> 
> *’Spend Christmas with Kevin’ is a common term in Korea, meaning that you spend Christmas watching the movie “Home Alone” about Kevin McCallister.


End file.
